no problems here, i am not in any sort of distress in the middle of the ocean. rather, i just came to the weird realisation that tomorrow, being mayday, means that i get a break from the shipping company that i currently work at.
being a ‘general clerk’ at a shipping firm is not exactly the best way to pass the summer break. funny thing is, i am actually beginning to find myself drawn into the lull of existence – doing mind numbing work and attaining mastery of the cursor on the hypnotic screen. also, i often mumble to myself, solidifying the tasks at hand through quiet verbal repetitions. kyle, who sits beside me, does not notice. maybe he is too busy talking to himself too. the office – home of master narrators and storytellers.
i can see how it is possible for people to get used to this kind of life. the pantry is often within a paperweight’s throw away, and inside you find gourmet coffee and the offerings of kind souls wishing to score some brownie points. best of all, you are left to your own devices most of the day. as long as deadlines are met and you can keep up the pretense of constantly grappling with something, the cubicle becomes a little cocoon where you can spin in your head all sorts of fantastic dreams and ideas. but that is of course not the case, or the world would be teeming with artists – expressions in magical swirls and swoops but actually building really nothing, other than castles in the sky.
i made up my mind quite a while ago that i must not allow myself to be consigned to such an existence, not that there is anything wrong with holding an office job of course. i guess that on a fundamental level, i seek the thrill of experience. this world is too big and life is too short and i am at the point of falling out of grace with the powers that govern cliches. still, being stuck in the stronghold of uniformity and armed with googlemaps and a rapidly expanding waistline is not exactly the best way of seeing the world.
“the light at the end of this tunnel comes from the glint of a silver dollar.”
“yet, silver dollars obscure the eyes at the end of the tunnel.”
for more on my thoughts, click here.